Yucky Apron -- FAILED

This is the apron I made today.

I hate it.

Really hate it.

In fact, it failed. Totally. (More about failed projects at the bottom of the blog.)

But I promised (sort of) in this blog mission statement that I would share successes and failures, so I feel compelled to share pictures of the yucky apron. And the lessons learned from it.

First of all, beginners should stick to using patterns. Period. Do not think to yourself, hey I'm a beginner, but how hard can an apron be?

Secondly, I just hate the fabrics. I mean, I know I picked them out, but I was choosing from the $2 fabrics at WalMart, 'cause let's face it, if you are going to make a colossal mistake with a patternless apron, wouldn't you rather do it for $2 a yard than say $6 or even $8? The flip side is, when you mess it up, it doesn't even have a pretty pattern or nice texture to distract from the awfulness. So even when buying $2 fabrics, hold out for colors that you at least sort of like.

And then, to compound things, I was determined to finish the apron even through I could tell early on that I hated it. So I finished it alright, but with some really terrible stitching. I mean, the waist was too high, so I just kind of gathered up some material from the waist and sewed it back (as opposed to taking out the original stitches, cutting some fabric off the waist, and then sewing it back. And my bias tape on the top looks terrible. Yuck!

Oh, and I think this apron makes me look fat.

Alright, now that I have shared how terrible I think this apron is, let's set some ground rules about failed projects. (Which I was always mark with the word failed at the top, so you don't accidentally consider my masterpiece to be a failure by mistake.)

Rule 1 -- Be honest. Don't send some smaltzy comment about how it's not that bad, yada, yada, yada. This is not a complement fishing expedition.

Rule 2 -- Join the bandwagon. In this case, it's the yucky apron bandwagon. Consider the offending item to be a person we are in a workshop or convention with and we really, really don't like them. Let's talk behind its back. It's the only thing that will make me feel better. Stupid apron. I bet it didn't even go to college.

Rule 3 -- It's going in the trash. Really, stuff that I consider to be total failures are going in the trash. If for any reason, you want this utterly hideous thing, you must first be a person I actually know, and then I'll just give it to you. So you can throw it in the trash. First come, first serve.

So if you are getting ready to deal with fish guts, let's say, and need something with good coverage to protect your nice clothes, and want to throw it away before getting in the car (less fish gut smell that way). Send me an e-mail or comment. The yucky apron can be yours.

Trash day is Thursday.